Church Service and Good Conversation Sunday, May 16, 2010

For our Sunday morning church service we went with the Zimbas to Ndola Baptist Church. The service lasted 2 hours, which was expected as the Mexican and Dominican Republic services that I have visited in the past have occasionally been that long as well. I appreciated the sermon and songs being in English, which was different than Spanish in both Mexico and the Dominican Republic. The sermon was much easier to follow than those in Mexico and the Dominican although I think it related more to that particular church and their current circumstance than it did to us. It was really neat to share songs and praises with our brothers and sisters in Christ and know that 9 hours later our own physical families would be doing likewise in our home churches. I enjoyed seeing the body of Christ coming together and praising the same God on another continent!

Sunday afternoon and early evening were spent at Dr. Zimba’s house. We ate there and shared stories. Two of Northrise’s graduates were there and they shared a few of their life experiences as well. Topics discussed included our different views of time (monocratic vs. polychronic ), North American stereotypes, as well as teenage pregnancy. One of the interesting things our team learned about Zambian culture is that the women need to prove themselves to their future husbands. Many Zambian women believe they need to prove their fertility BEFORE they get married. Therefore they have premarital sex and often have one or two children before the y get married in order to prove to their man that they can produce more offspring for him. The two ladies we spoke to were of Christian back ground and did not believe this but instead shared our view and were saddened by the view of their fellow Zambians.

We got back to the dormitory at about 9 that night but did not get to bed until much later than that due to excellent conversation. The three Dordt guys were joined by about ten Northrise guys as we talked about dating and different traditions in our respective cultures. We enjoyed hearing their stories because they have a much different way of having relationships. Dating is taboo. With this being said it is accepted that everyone does it anyway, you just do not speak of it. The guys said that if you are visiting a girl and you hear that her parents are coming home you run out of there as fast as you can. Zambian guys have a different type of respect for Fathers than North Americans do. We spoke of developing a relationship of trust with a future Father in Law and including him in the process by asking him for permission to date and marry his daughter. The Zambians have a respect for the Father by way of fear. If one was not to fear the future Father in Law it would be disrespectful and rude. Also, if a Zambian guy is to get married they must tell their entire story to an uncle. After hearing the entire story the uncle arranges a rendezvous with the prospective girl’s uncle. At the rendezvous the man must present a dowry. The uncle moderates everything including the discussion between the two families. If the discussion goes well and the dowry is large enough the two young people are allowed to get married. Another interesting note towards marriage is that it includes the entire family. The entire extended family is also attached in this marriage. If there is a fight in the future with the couple the entire family helps work it through. For this reason there are not many divorces in Zambia. The families help each other sort out their problems. I thought this was a respectable way to go about this process and think maybe the North American culture could adopt a few of these practices in order to lower the divorce rate that seems to keep escalating.

Additionally, the North American guys found out a few interesting facts about how our culture is represented around the world. The Zambian guys were telling us how they view America. It turns out they get their impressions from the movies. Unfortunately, this paints a sad picture of our society. A few of them expressed concern with ever coming to the States as they would be putting their lives in danger from all of the crime and shooting. Also, the drugs, sex, and self image were also ideals that they did not agree with and thought were prevalent in ever day life. Now I know this is true for many parts of America I do not think these problems are prevalent in Sioux Center where they would be visiting if they came to Dordt College. Another thought we had to correct was that all girls look like they do in the movies and TV shows. The guys were adamant that North American girls must keep themselves looking good for the boys all the time with plenty of makeup and fancy clothes. As North American guys we were ashamed and apologized several times for this view. What was even scarier was how Zambians were getting educated on how to be American so that they might succeed in life. Many teens were wearing blue jeans (A very American way to dress) to show how Western they were as well as their elite status. We found it sad to see their society plunging into this fake ideal while losing so much of their own culture in the process. A few students expressed sadness that their culture was turning out this way and we shared in their disappointment.

Today was a huge day as far as conversation goes. As a team we really opened up with the students and expressed a lot more about how we live as well as learned incredible amounts about how the Northrise students live. Personally, I learned a lot about the Zambian culture as well as myself. These conversations challenged me individually about how I represent myself. These representations include how North American I act, but also how I represent Christ in all that I do. People are watching. How are you living in your everyday life? These conversations challenged me to wear Christianity on my sleeve so that the fact that I am Christian is as clearly communicated to my neighbour as my skin colour communicates wealth and happiness to the Zambian people.